Emma's Secret Read online

  “You’re waiting for Emmie to come back, aren’t you?” Doug coughed as he broached the one subject neither man was allowed to discuss with him. But Jack let it be.

  “Wishful thinking, most likely.” Jack wiped at a tear that slid down his cheek.

  Doug leaned forward. “Just because she hasn’t come in a few days doesn’t mean she won’t again.”

  “I know.” His chest ached, and he wasn’t sure whether it was from holding in his tears or if his heart just couldn’t handle the hurt anymore. He rubbed his chest and winced.

  “Where’s your pills?” Kenny watched him like a hawk. Their fears that Jack would have a heart attack at home weren’t too far off. He expected it to happen any day, and was always amazed when he woke up in the morning.

  Jack shook his head before standing up and stretching. “I’m fine.” He stared down at the boys and asked his original question. “Bingo today?”

  The boys played bingo almost daily at the lodge—the retirement home where Doug and Kenny lived. It was an independent-living facility for seniors who didn’t require medical attention. Although there was talk of the doctors’ wanting Kenny to move to another wing, where there was more assistance than what they got now.

  Doug shook his head. “Nah. They have an outing planned instead. Something about a picnic at the beach.”

  Jack pondered the idea. It had been a long time since he’d last been to the beach. He’d promised Emmie he would take her. Another promise he wouldn’t be able to keep.

  “There’s the races tonight in Hanton. We could go early and play the slot machines.” That idea appealed to him. It was something different from the normal bingo game.

  Both Doug and Jack nodded their heads.

  “Get your beauty sleep then, boys, and meet me at the farmhouse in a few hours.”

  It would be the first time Jack had been to Hanton since taking Emmie and Dottie to the fair there. But he was a big boy, and it was time to move on with his life. He had to accept that Emmie was never coming back.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Now remember, sunshine: We can’t stay long. I have a meeting this morning.”

  Peter held tight to Emma’s hand as she jumped out of the vehicle onto the pavement. She’d dressed up today, wearing a bright-yellow dress with a white-and-yellow headband.

  “But Papa’s here.” A pout formed on her lips as she pointed to Jack’s truck.

  Peter shrugged. “Sorry, Em, we don’t have much time today.”

  Emma lowered her head and dragged her feet, kicking up loose gravel as she walked.

  “But you can still say hi and give him your drawing.” Peter shook his head as she lifted her gaze and the brightest smile he’d seen all day appeared.

  Emma skipped along, dragging Peter behind her as she headed toward the front doors. Peter caught Jack’s eye through the window and gave a slight wave. His stomach clenched. He felt a little hesitant about bringing Emma today, and wasn’t sure whether it was from guilt or something else. He was keeping too many secrets from her lately. If he wasn’t careful, things could backfire in his face.

  Once inside, Emma tore her fingers out of Peter’s grip and ran toward Jack. The shuffling of a chair and the excited cries of a girl missing her grandfather filled the restaurant. Peter had to blink his eyes a few times as he watched Emma’s arms wrap themselves around Jack’s neck as he picked her up and held her tight.

  As bad as he felt about it, Peter knew that keeping this a secret from Megan was the right decision. At least for now. She’d never let this happen, Emma holding tight to Jack. She’d do her best to rip her away from the old man. She still hadn’t let go of her anger. Maybe once she started to forgive Jack for his part in what happened, she’d be more open, but until then…

  “Two large, black and mocha, but can I pick up the mocha before I leave?” Peter stood at the counter and gave his order to the woman in front of him. It took him a moment to realize she was staring at Emma and Jack.

  Peter glanced over his shoulder and saw Emma sitting on Jack’s lap, her hands cradling his face as she chattered away. There was a dazed look on Jack’s face, a soft smile as he gave her his full attention. Peter glanced back at the waitress in front of him.

  “Um,” he glanced down at the name tag she wore, “Claire, might as well add a sprinkle donut to the order. We’ll be here longer than I expected.”

  Telephone to her ear, Megan sat at the kitchen table with a notebook and counted off the list of names she’d written down.

  “Mom, I have at least ten kids from her class coming. You can help me with the miniature golf while Dad and Peter supervise the go-kart racing.” She kept her voice down, not wanting Alexis to overhear her, even though she was upstairs getting ready for the beach.

  “Why are you only telling us about this now? We might have had plans, you know.”

  The censure in her mother’s voice was palpable, and it took all of Megan’s strength to keep the fake smile in her voice evident.

  “I know, I’m sorry. But I just—”

  “You forgot, didn’t you? Oh, Megan, how could you?” It wasn’t hard to visualize her mother shaking her head while frowning.

  “I didn’t forget. I just didn’t realize it was so soon. Besides, you knew it was coming up, so why would you have plans made?” Why did she have to justify herself? Did they not think she realized how wrong it was for a mother to forget her own daughter’s birthday?

  There was silence on the other end of the phone for a moment. “You can count on us; you know that, don’t you?”

  Megan didn’t always know that. Their relationship was…complicated, to say the least. Megan always felt she had to live up to her mother’s expectations, even when she didn’t know what they were. When Emma had first disappeared, Sheila expected her to be strong, to not give up hope, and to believe that God would protect Emma and bring her home safely. When Megan fell apart, Sheila’s disgust didn’t go unnoticed.

  “Megan?”

  She shook her head and made herself focus. “Thank you. I think it’ll be fun.”

  “What are you doing about the cake?” Sheila was known for her cake-decorating skills. She was on call for many of the churches in town to bake for their functions.

  “Hannah’s been begging me to let her make the family cake.” Like mother like daughter, Hannah loved to bake, and often asked to try new recipes she’d find in the multitude of cookbooks Megan kept in the cupboard.

  “No sense in doing that. Let me make Alexis’s cake. Did Peter order those golf clubs for her? Why don’t I make the cake in the shape of a putting green for her?”

  Megan smiled. Alexis would love that. She thanked her mom before hanging up.

  She put her elbow on the kitchen table. She’d accomplished a lot in a short time. She’d called friends from Alexis’s class and explained the surprise-party idea to them, booked the racetrack, and even managed to coordinate an extra surprise, thanks to the manager. This would be a birthday Alexis would never forget, even if it was pulled together only a few days before the actual event.

  Megan checked the time. What was taking Peter so long? He had a meeting this morning with someone wanting to purchase land just outside of Kinrich and said he wouldn’t be long. He offered to grab some coffee and suggested taking Emma with him, and if he was only going through the drive-thru, he should have been home at least twenty minutes ago. Unless Emma sweet-talked him into going inside for a donut, something she was apt to do. Lately, it was as if that little girl of theirs had Peter wrapped around her little finger.

  Thundering footfalls ripped through the ceiling above her, and a mere second later echoed down the stairs. She rushed to tidy up her lists and managed to turn over the details about the birthday moments before Alexis slid into the kitchen.

  “I can’t find my bathing suit anywhere.” Hands were on her hips as she sported a bright-yellow Big Bird T-shirt and green knee-length shorts.

  Megan sighed. It had taken her on
ly fifteen minutes to realize her bathing suit wasn’t upstairs.

  “Where did you put it last?”

  Alexis’s brow rose. “If I knew that, I’d be wearing it; don’t you think?”

  Megan snorted. “If you think it’s okay to talk to me like that, we can do a beach day tomorrow.”

  Alexis thinned her lips but kept quiet.

  “Where did you last leave it?” Megan kept her voice calm. This wasn’t a battle she was willing to fight. Not today.

  Alex glanced around the room before heading to the patio door.

  “We all left our bathing suits outside to dry yesterday. Why is mine the only one left out there?”

  Megan stood and gathered the sheets of paper. “Maybe because I asked you last night to bring it inside.” She opened the cupboard by the kitchen desk area and stuffed the papers into it. She’d finish the planning for Alexis’s party later.

  “But there are bugs in it now!” In a sudden rage, Alexis turned red in the face as she crossed her arms over her chest and glared.

  Megan shrugged. “Guess you should have listened to me last night then.”

  “That’s not fair.” Alexis stomped her feet before yanking the sliding door open and heading outside.

  Megan watched her retrieve the bathing suit by the tips of her fingers and fling it side to side. Alexis hated bugs. Megan checked her watch again before turning her attention to the sideshow outside. The child was being thorough, at least, in how she was shaking that tiny piece of clothing.

  “If you really loved me, you would have brought mine in, too, instead of leaving it outside,” Alexis muttered when she came back inside.

  Megan cocked her head to the side. “Excuse me?”

  Her daughter stood stoic; arms crossed and lips in a tight line.

  “I do love you, Alexis. It’s why I told you to bring your suit inside last night. It’s not my fault if you didn’t.” Everything inside Megan screamed. What was she supposed to do? She was blamed for coddling one child and being too hard on the other. No matter what she did, she couldn’t win. It was as if Alexis expected—

  “I bet you brought in Emma’s.” She stared defiantly into Megan’s eyes.

  And there it was. It always came back to Emma. She’d noticed Alexis tore up the stairs after Peter told Emma she could go with him to get coffee.

  “Why would I do that?”

  Alexis’s nostrils flared. “All you care about is Emma. No one else.”

  Megan lifted her hands up in exasperation. “Are you kidding me?” Her voice rose an octave as she stared down her daughter. How could she think that?

  Kathy had warned her that Alex might lash out like this. Megan had thought she was prepared, but some days she wasn’t sure how to handle this—be a mother to three different children and meet all their needs. She felt like she was failing them all.

  “You know Alex, I can’t seem to win with you. What do you expect of me?”

  “Love me like you love her.”

  Megan’s mouth dropped. Had she failed her daughter so much that she thought she wasn’t loved?

  “I do love you,” Megan whispered.

  Alexis snorted. “Actions speak louder than words, Mom. Isn’t that what you keep telling us?”

  “I…Alexis…” Megan wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “What can I do to show you I love you?” It hurt more than she thought it would to know she wasn’t meeting Alexis’s needs. She’d tried so hard, made more of a conscious effort ever since that note came home from Alexis’s teacher before Emma’s return. What else could she do?

  “It’s the little things, Mom. Like bringing my bathing suit in.” Defiant, Alexis stood her ground. She reminded Megan so much of herself.

  “Both Emma and Hannah brought in their own suits last night when I asked them to. You were the one who promised you would do it after your show was over.” Megan reminded her.

  “Oh.” Alexis’s shoulders deflated.

  Megan crossed the room and wrapped her arms around her daughter’s rigid body. “I do love you, Alexis. No more and no less than your sisters.” She pressed her lips against her daughter’s hair and waited for a response, but Alexis refused to bend. With a sigh, Megan let go and stepped away. “Go on up and get ready. Then you can help me pack a picnic lunch if you want.” She gently pushed Alexis toward the hallway. “Now, where is your father?” Megan mumbled to herself.

  “Right here.”

  Megan turned and found both Peter and Emma standing in the front doorway. Emma’s mouth was smeared with chocolate icing, and she held a box of donuts in her hands.

  Megan took the proffered coffee Peter held out and waited for Emma to leave the room. “How long have you been standing there?”

  “Long enough.”

  “And you didn’t step in to help me?” She turned her back, placed the coffee on the counter, and leaned down. An overwhelming sense of exhaustion filled her. She could go back to bed and sleep for hours if she could.

  “What did you expect me to do, Meg?” Peter came up and stood behind her.

  She turned. “Oh, I don’t know. Support me, maybe? She’s so angry with me, and I don’t know how to reach her anymore.”

  “Have you tried listening?”

  Megan’s eyes widened as she stared at him in dismay. Not him too?

  “Yes, I listened to her. Sure, I could have brought her swimsuit in last night, but to be honest, I didn’t think to check that she’d kept her promise to me. So what? How does that turn into me not loving her?”

  Peter shrugged. “Why don’t you take her out on a mother-daughter date like you used to? You haven’t done that with any of the girls since Emma came back.”

  Megan closed her eyes, sighed long and deep, and then realized something.

  “The alarm didn’t go off when you came in.”

  “I figured you’d turned off the system when I left.” Peter walked over to the box on the wall by the front door and pushed buttons.

  “No. It was on.” Megan stood behind him and peered over his shoulder.

  Peter glanced at his watch. “Are you sure?” Peter half-turned and leaned forward to kiss Megan on the cheek, but she stepped back.

  “What took you so long this morning?”

  Peter’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second before a smile appeared on his face, but it was enough to catch Megan’s notice.

  “It’s hard to say no sometimes.” A sheepish look crossed his face.

  “I thought you had a meeting you couldn’t miss?”

  Peter shifted his feet. “I do. I didn’t think the coffee run would take as long as it did.”

  Megan stepped backward until she stood at the bottom of the stairs. She sat down, pulling her legs up and resting her arms on them. The way Peter’s gaze shifted around the room set her on edge.

  “It’s a five-minute drive there and back. Surely it didn’t take twenty minutes for her to eat a donut?” She thought about all the text messages he’d received but wouldn’t tell her about and the way he’d been so distant lately with her. “Did you meet someone there?”

  “What?” Peter’s body went rigid, and he fisted his hands at his sides. “No, she just wanted to eat her donut. Don’t make it out to be more than it was.” There was an edge to his tone now.

  Megan nodded her head. “Okay.” It was time to drop the subject. “Why don’t you join us at the beach for lunch if you have time after your meeting?”

  Peter’s stance relaxed, and he pulled out his keys from his pocket.

  “That sounds like a good idea. Noon?”

  Megan nodded.

  Peter stepped forward and brushed a kiss across Megan’s lips. “I do love you, you know.”

  “I know,” she whispered.

  She watched him as he walked out the front door and waited for the sound of his vehicle to leave before she stood up. Every time she thought they were going to be okay, something else came up between them, and instead of dealing with it, Megan kept backi
ng down. Why? What happened to the woman who faced things head-on, come hell or high water? Why did she back down now? What was she hoping for?

  No. She wasn’t hoping for anything. She was scared. Scared that Peter would realize their marriage wasn’t worth fighting for. He was willing to walk away once, what if he did it again?

  Peter loosened his tie as he leaned back in his office chair and sighed. He was half-tempted to kick his feet up on the desk and have a nap. He rolled his neck, groaning at the kinks as they popped, and made a mental note to book a chiropractor appointment.

  “You busy?”

  Peter cracked open his eyes to see Sam standing in his doorway.

  “Swamped,” Peter said. He forced a smile onto his face. The last thing he wanted to do right now was talk with Sam, but he beckoned her in with the hook of his finger. “You look like hell.” He didn’t think he’d ever seen her like this. Gone was the put-together woman men normally drooled over, with her skintight shirts and thigh-high skirts. Dark bags hung beneath her eyes, she wore hardly any makeup, and she’d either just climbed out of bed or was about to go to the gym. Except—he peered at his watch—it was too late in the day for that.

  “Thanks for noticing.” Sarcasm dripped from her lips, but Peter ignored it. He was too tired to worry about Sam’s recent emotional roller coaster. He had enough to deal with at home.

  “Did you tell her?” Sam dropped into one of the plush seats in front of Peter’s desk. She leaned back and crossed her legs.

  Peter shook his head.

  “God, you’re stubborn.” Sam gathered her hair together in her hands and quickly pulled it into a ponytail.

  “And you’re too insistent. Lay off.” He growled.

  Of course he was going to tell Megan, but on his terms. Not Samantha’s.

  Sam’s lips tightened until they were a straight line. “I don’t like this. She hates me as it is and thinks there’s something going on between us. I’d prefer to leave on good terms if possible.”